Clancy at the Top End

NIPPA’s choice of Darwin fulfilled that definition for many delegates who enjoyed a visit to the Top End for the first time. Darwin enjoined its own style on the more up-tight southern visitors and the sight pf conference presenters fronting the podium in the ballroom of the Crowne Plaza in bare feet, shorts and t-shirts may well set an industry trend.

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And the name of the song is . . .? NIPPA Idols Graeme Pleming, Martin Booth and David Harrison air guitar to great effect trying to keep the audience guessing.

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At conferences there is a requirement these days to have a ‘name’ presenter to kick off the event. For NIPPA that honour fell to Ric Charlesworth, former coach of the record breaking and Olympic gold medal-winning national women’s hockey team, erstwhile federal MP, medial doctor and author. He flew in to Darwin from Italy where he lives these days to give his views on coaching, leadership and the perils of jet lag. His latest book is Shakespeare the Coach.

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There is a refreshing tendency at conferences these days to include at least one presentation focusing on the impact of the industry on the environment. At Darwin this was supplied by sponsor Ricoh with details of its toner cartridge take back programme. Graphic images of the current devastation wrought by rich countries export of old computers to poorer ones introduced a sobering tone. Combined with Australian Paper’s launch of its Australian cut sheet product with 10 per cent post consumer waste, it gave the conference full marks for ‘green’ awareness.

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Because Darwin is a capital city with a steady flow of tourist there is a perception that it is relatively sophisticated. This was put to the test on the last night of the NIPPA conference when a number of delegates, (no names, no pack drill) dressed up to the nines in Rocky Horror theme fancy dress went across the road from the hotel to an Irish bar for a few parting glasses. The sight of two large, hairy blokes in full drag – high heels, fishnet stockings, wigs and lurid make-up – breasting the bar revealed that Darwin is still close to its bush town origins.

But tolerance won the night and the only injuries were to vanity when the make-up ran in the humidity.

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And finally . . . this is one of the yarns that went around the bar in Darwin.

A kangaroo shooter is out in the desert when the ute breaks down. He decides to walk out although the temperature is 40 plus. Two days later, on the last drop of radiator water, he comes to a small town that boasts a large sign, Mercy – Population 12. He staggers into the pub and calls for a beer.

“We don’t have any beer,” says the woman behind the bar.

“Jeez, a pub with no beer. What do you have?” he gasps.

“I can give you some kola tea,” she says.

She brings out a billy and sure enough there’s a dead kola in the hot water. Thirsty as he is he can’t face it and pushes it back to her.

“Can you at least strain it?” he asks.

“The kola tea of Mercy is not strained,” she replies.