Clancy . . . overflow . . . the best bits . . . funnies

Some of the larger press suppliers are unhappy, to say the least, with CPI’s decision. Andy vels Jensen’s Print Award’s speech in front of over 1,200 guests was liberally sprinkled with acerbic asides as he took aim at what he termed the ‘hi-jacking’ of visitors from the show. Along with others he feels the investment his company makes in promoting an equipment-packed stand is being undermined by the decision to shift the focus away from the Exhibition Centre. “If this is the way it will be you have to wonder what is the future of PacPrint,” he said.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

There’s no doubt about it, a little attention from a politician goes a long way. Steve Bracks, Premier of Victoria proved to be a master of the trade show tour on Tuesday night. Leveraging his former position as director of the Vic Printing Industry Training Board, he charmed his way around six exhibition stands in the space of half an hour before, providing plenty of photo opportunities before officially declaring the show open.

And yes, there was a ribbon-cutting ceremony earlier in the day, but the organisers know where the magic lies.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Almost as ubiquitous as wide format printers were the coffee machines around the hall. According to Norman Koslowski, marketing manager of Ricoh, there should be a special prix for the best barrista at the trade show. He is fairly confident he can win as visitors to the stand can drink their coffee while taking it easy in a reclining massage chair.
It’s tough out there in the aisles.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

A trade show is never without its traumas and Mark Chinchen at Hyphen had a beauty when his two Canon wide format machines simply refused to function just before the show opened. Providing the basis of his innovative imposition proofing solution the recalcitrant pieces of kit baffled Canon’s service engineers who were all over it like a swarm. “An error message keeps coming up, but it isn’t the right error message,” commented Chinchen wryly.

––––––––––––––––––––––

And finally . . .

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku has strict construction rules.

Each poem has only 17 syllables: 5 syllables in the
first line, 7 in the second, and 5 in the third. They are used to communicate timeless messages, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity.

Instead of making you want to throw your computer out the window, they have a calming effect.

For example:

Yesterday it worked. / Today it is not working. / Windows is like that.


The Web site you seek / Cannot be located, but / Countless more exist.


Chaos reigns within. / Reflect, repent, and reboot. / Order shall return.


Program aborting: / Close all that you have worked on. / You ask far too much.


Windows NT crashed. / I am the Blue Screen of Death. / No one hears your screams.


Your file was so big. / It must have been quite useful. / But now it is gone.


Stay the patient course. / Of little worth is your ire. / The network is down.


A crash reduces / Your expensive computer / To a simple stone.


Three things are certain: / Death, taxes and lost data. / Guess which has occurred.


You step in the stream, / But the water has moved on. / This page is not here.


Out of memory. / We wish to hold the whole sky, / But we never will.


Having been erased, / The document you're seeking / Must now be retyped.


Serious error. / All shortcuts have disappeared. / Screen. Mind. All is blank.