Clancy . . . overflow . . . the best bits . . . funnies

The QM press is the stripped down version of the Speedmaster, sans automation. It was one of a pair, a two-colour and a single-colour. Together the working presses at Extra Print clocked up 130 million sheets in 24 months. In its prepress section, the company uses the Heidelberg MetaDimension workflow and the Duosetter film recorder. Its postpress operations include two Polar cutters. Most jobs are two-colour and have an average run of just under 30,000, though some jobs are as small as 5,000 sheets and others extend up to 400,000. Extra Print has customers in 80 Russian towns and cities.

And people wonder about the future of small offset.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

It’s an ill wind that doesn’t blow some good and the death of John Paul ll has given Western Australian graphics business Fast Finishing Services one of its most prestigious assignments ever. The company will produce a large case bound book of condolences for the Roman Catholic Church in Western Australia. Bound in red with gold foiling it will be a befittingly prestigious expression of dolor for WA’s faithful.

Managing director of Fast Finishing Services, Nita Sams, said it was a privilege to have been chosen for the production of such an important and high profile project. She extended her thanks to Graham Pittaway of Cypress Press for providing the opportunity.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

All eyes in the paper world are on European prices as predictions of higher results feed merchant’s and mills optimism that better times are almost here. Mills are putting it about that higher prices are already agreed with major customers, but the market is still awash with uncoated fine paper manufacturing capacity. On the other hand, International Paper maintains its prices have increased by an average of AUD$85 per tonne. A number of mills are taking downtime on their machines, hoping to put a floor under prices.

Locally, merchants are publishing new pricing lists with an average of four per cent rise across the board. How they will fare is anyone’s guess.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

The Australian and New Zealand industry is fixated on over capacity in its press volumes, but if even half the rumours coming Clancy’s way about the number of heat-set and cold-set web presses planned to go in this year are true, we’re going to have the Mother of All Over Capacities by this time next year. It seems every press manufacturer is sitting on solid gold contracts that cannot be revealed. It’s not large corporations that are laying out the millions either, at least two family-owned businesses are digging deep for extra capacity and new premises, one in Sydney, the other in Melbourne.

And that is not counting the confirmed avalanche of web capacity that corporate PMP is about to install – and not a moment too soon if it wants to stay afloat.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Clancy got it wrong last week when he reported that PacPrint would have two opening ceremonies on Tuesday 24 May in Melbourne. That still holds true – it will be a well-opened show – but the personages taking part in the morning opening were wrongly identified. Peter Lane, president of Printing Industries will join Meredith Darke, president of GAMAA, and the chairman of the PacPrint board in cutting the foyer ribbon in the morning.
Steve Bracks, Victorian Premier, will, apparently, need no help in inaugurating the show at a cocktail event at 5.30pm that evening.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

And finally … this highly diverting piece from Dave Bell, who hangs around with computer programmers.

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ‘House'
for instance, is feminine: la casa'. ‘Pencil', however, is masculine:
el lapis.
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving the
answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and
asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a
masculine or a feminine noun.


The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the
feminine gender ('la computadora), because;

No one but their creator understands their internal logic

The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else.

Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible
later retrieval

As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine,

el computador', because

In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on

They have lots of data but still can't think for themselves

They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they
ARE the problem, and

As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a
little longer, you could have gotten a better model.