Clancy . . . overflow . . . the best bits . . . funnies

Every 15 minutes PacPrint visitors can be whisked away from the company’s 72.5 m2 display at the Exhibition Centre in downtown Melbourne by helicopter to view the company’s range of Komori presses at its well-equipped showroom in the far eastern suburbs. It’s a new twist on exhibitions and one that, if it catches on, will see visitors only turning up at the show to be taken away. Certainly CPI is not the only press manufacturer to decide not to bring heavy metal to the show.

Mind, perhaps the cost of flying the helicopters will work out at about the same as bringing the presses to the show.

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You have to love the by-laws and advice that exhibitions feel obliged to promulgate these days. Among the more arcane prohibitions in the guide book to PacPrint:

Photography is banned in the halls ( we can only hope this does not apply to journalists).

Prams are forbidden and children must be carried (we are a family friendly industry, trying to attract young people to our industry).

Canvassing is banned at the show (oh! they mean unauthorized canvassing).

The organisers also feel moved to provide the following pieces of sage advice.

If visiting the show with more than one person – make a meeting point in case you lose contact.

Plan your time carefully. Allow enough time to complete all of your business.

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Farewell Brian Bradford.
If this PacPrint has come together with seeming ease and a lack of fuss, it may be down to the influence of Brain Bradford, exhibition manager of Reed Exhibitions. One of the nice guys Brian is the epitome of friendly British urbanity. But he is off back to Blighty after the show, which is a decided loss of civility to Oz.

We will have to do at least one lunch before the parting.

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US corporate raider and change merchant, Robert Burton, is a force to be reckoned with. Rebuffed, or at least stymied in his attempt to take over Creo (he walked away with a handsome profit when Kodak bought the company) Burton has turned his attention to one of the US’s largest printers, Cenveo. He and his cohorts have taken a 10 per cent stake in the company and are now launching a hostile takeover. As he did with Creo, he says he wants to become chairman and CEO, to slash costs and turn the company around. In a letter of demand to the company he said imperially, “Our patience is running out."

Now that’s old-fashioned corporate raiding. We’ll keep you posted.

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Disturbing to hear from James Cryer of JDA about a young woman, Portia, a well-qualified press operator unable to get a job in Sydney. He writes, she gets asked at interviews if she has a boyfriend, if she's got marriage plans, etc. She can, and has, run a big 102 Speedmaster single-handed for months – they couldn't spare her an offsider! – and can't find a job. Who says we're male not dominated!

If you are moved to indignation, or more imprtantly to action, contact James on james@jdaprintrecruit.com.au

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And finally … here are a few quick fire triggers from Prairie Home Companion Haw! Haw! that have raised a smile or two around here.

A man who worked in the circus as the Human Cannonball told the ringmaster he was quitting. The ringmaster said, "You can't leave! Where else can I find a man of your calibre?

Boom boom!

There was a history professor and a psychology professor sitting on a deck at a nudist colony. The history professor asked the psychology professor, "Have you read Marx?"

The psychology professor replied, "Yes, I think it's from
the wicker chairs."

Ouch!

Then there was the mechanic who was addicted to brake fluid – he said it was no problem, he could stop any time.

Screech!

A guy walks into a bar and sees a strange-looking bottle full of a blue liquid behind the bar. He calls the bartender over and asks, "What's that?"

The bartender says, "Oh, that's new. That's liquid Viagra."


"Okay," the guy says. "Pour me a stiff one.”

Good night!