Clancy . . . overflow . . . the best bits . . . funnies

Entries close tomorrow on April Fools Day, and you’d be a mug not to be in the leading publishing awards if you’ve got a book, periodical or non standard item published last year where content is of Australian origin.

This year there’s a new category for the Australian printed book of the year.

Nomination forms can be downloaded from www.galleyclubsydney.org.au/members/
And info from Janis Barbi on president@galleyclubsydney.org.au

This is the bit I love. . . send your entries to:

Andrew Connolly c/o PETA,

In Grounds of the Camdenville Public School,

Laura St, Newtown 2042

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Heading up Hewlett Packard must be one of the most sought after roles in modern business. With the abrupt departure of Iron Lady, Carly Fiorini, two months ago the search was on for a new CEO and President. Now Mark Hurd, the man credited with turning around NCR has got the nod. It’s a big leap for the 48 year-old after spending 25 years with the firm, latterly as president and chief executive officer.

And to dispel any notions that Carly getting the boot was the work of the old boy's club, Patricia Dunn, is HP's non-executive chairman. She said that the HP board unanimously selected Hurd based on his track record of leading a complex organization, as well as his strong executive and personal qualities.

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The Poms are again leading the way in industrial mayhem with the latest series of democratic industrial laws about to come into effect on April 6. After those employers with at least 150 employees have to consult with their staff about the business they work for and inform them about key business issues. This new requirement also becomes compulsory from 6 April 2007 for employers with 100+ employees and from 6 April 2008 for those with at least 50 employees.

What it means is that employers must keep their staff informed about recent and probable developments of the company's activities and economic situation, and consult on likely changes to employment contracts.

Employers are concerned that commercial confidences will be breeched by disgruntled employees taking disclosed strategies to the competition.

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And finally . . . for everyone who wondered where the really good ideas in business come from.

In the beginning was the Plan.

And then came the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form.
And the Plan was without substance.

And the darkness was upon the face of the Workers.

And they spoke amongst themselves, saying, "It is a crock of shit and it stinks."

And the workers went to their Supervisors and said, "It is a pail of dung and we cannot stand the smell."

And the Supervisors went to their Directors, saying, "It is a container of excrement, it is a vessel of fertilizer and the workers cannot cope with its odour."

And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another, "It contains that which aids plant growth and it is very strong."

And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents saying, "It promotes growth and it is very powerful."

And the Vice Presidents went to the President saying, "This new Plan will actively promote the growth and vigour of the company with powerful effects."

And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.

And the Plan became policy.

And this is how Shit Happens.