Thanks for the err.. memories: Print 21 magazine article

Warning: you have insufficient memory to complete this task. It's not only computers however that suffer from this problem. As Steve Smith points out, memory lapses are a typically human condition although that's no excuse for forgetting the fundamentals of press chemistry.

I don't have a good memory. Like most people, I could probably come up with several specious reasons to explain that: advancing age, the influence of alcohol on brain cells, pressures of the job ... But quite honestly, my short term ability for remembering information has never been that good. Not that I can recall, anyway.

There's a 42-year-old woman in California who can remember every single day since her teens in staggering detail – what made the news that day, what the weather was like and other verifiable facts, as well as what she was doing on any given date, right back to 1980. The downside is that she reports having something like a constant movie of her life playing inside her head the whole time, unstoppable, relentless. Medical researchers at the University of California found her condition to be so rare and undocumented that they coined the term Hyperthymestic Syndrome to describe it, and have since found only a handful of other sufferers.

At the extreme end of the spectrum are the autistic savants, perhaps the best known being Kim Peek who was famously portrayed by Dustin Hoffman in the movie Rain Man. Peek can read an average sized book in an hour, and remembers just about everything he has ever read on a diverse range of subjects, from history and literature to numbers and dates. He can recall 12,000 books from memory and has appeared on the Extraordinary People television series shown on SBS earlier this year.

There are any number of self-help books on the shelves that offer to improve the reader's memory as well as their author's bank balance, and these are based on scientists' study of the brain and the way it works. We do understand quite well how memories are built and how to maximise their retention. Without going into details, the basic themes are: 1. Pay attention; 2. Be organised (eg think of mnemonics or relationships); and 3. Review (go back over the key elements you need to remember, and the more often you do that then the better will be the memory).

The subject of memory is also a favourite topic for science fiction writers, Philip K Dick being one of the best known.  His novels have been made into such films as Blade Runner and Total Recall, both of which studied the premise of implanted memory.

Open wide, come inside
My forgetfulness is the typical short term one we euphemistically call absent-mindedness – and mine sits nicely with the chemist nerd stereotype. Where did I leave the car keys? Why did I walk downstairs to see the production manager? Who was it I was supposed to phone when I finished the previous task?

Two weeks ago I left the house for my daily drive to Day, juggling car keys, laptop computer, mobile phone, and GPS, intending to walk the five paces back to the front door to close it and arm the alarm after loading up the car. When I arrived home 10 hours later, both screen door and main door were still wide open – just as I had left them. Nothing, fortunately, was missing from the house and no stray dog had wandered in to sniff around and relieve itself on my carpet. The fault lay in points 1 and 2 above; I was not paying attention to what I had to do and I didn't review the momentary thought "Go back and shut the front door". Instead I was focussing on tasks to begin when I arrived at work.

My long-term memory is fine. I haven't forgotten what I learned in my chemistry degree in the late 70s, for instance. I still remember during my first year in the printing industry back in 1980 reading an article in a trade magazine - the writer was imploring printers when they had a problem to avoid the instinctive reaction of increasing the press settings. Density a bit low? Don't simply increase the ink feed; try dropping the dampening a tad. Plates scumming a little bit? Don't just add more water; maybe the ink can be reduced slightly. That was the sort of thing the author was arguing.

I've revisited this idea in presentations recently using as a memory aid for the audience a short clip from Rob Reiner's mock documentary This is Spinal Tap. Bogus lead guitarist Nigel Tufnel for fake rock band Spinal Tap explains how their amplifiers have settings that go up to 11 rather than 10, for that extra little "push over the cliff" when they need it. The interviewer points out that they could just get more powerful amps and make that top setting 10, which leaves Nigel flummoxed for a while, eventually replying lamely, "But these go to 11 ..."

So to printers and pressroom managers reading this piece, I'll repeat that writer's request from a quarter of a century ago to try to overcome printing problems by turning the settings down. Please ... try to remember this!